Coined by management expert Jerry Harvey in 1974, Abilene Paradox lends ample value toward our own growth and development as leaders.
As the story goes, a family in Coleman, Texas is comfortably playing dominos on their porch one summer afternoon when the father-in-law suggests they take a ride to Abilene to go to dinner. It’s hot outside. Abilene is 50+ miles away. No one wants to go. They like the low-key and relaxing time they are spending together and the cold lemonade they are drinking. The daughter then says: ‘Yes I’d like to go’. Her husband, feeling obliged, agrees and then the wife is asked. She pauses and then also agrees so that her preferences are not seen to be out of step with the group.
The family takes the long drive to Abilene. In the car ride there’s not much enthusiasm. They finally get to the restaurant and to make matters worse the meals served by the restaurant turn out to be substandard. Then that long car ride back to Coleman. No one enjoyed the trip – the trip that they had a chance to decline in the first place. Overall, it was a 4-hour bummer experience end to end which could have been averted if people simply spoke up and were candid about their preferences.
When they got home there was a moment of truth where one of them confessed it wasn’t a very good trip. Then, one after the other they all agreed. Each said they didn’t want to go against what they thought was the group’s preferences. Sound familiar?
So, what are the business implications? Surely, at one point in your career you have witnessed this dynamic taking place at a meeting. It’s often accompanied by a desire to belong to a group. And further, the dynamic takes place often due to our need to avoid being separated from that group. The participants feel obligated, and therefore succumb to the need to satisfy the rest of the group with their compliance and/or support for the decision being made.
This is how bad decisions get made.
What we know is that this kind of group behavior often backfires. Resentment sets in. Going along with a group’s decision, despite there being better alternatives, may make the group feel united at first, but long term it can lead to a separation within the group, thereby destroying the unity the group was trying to protect in the first place.
Instead, what we want is debate and a free exchange of opinions. Candor is good. Conflict, properly communicated, is good. This is how effective decisions get made. In situations where Abilene Paradox is taking place, the leader needs to have a real-time awareness that the silence, or lack of candor is stifling the decision-making process. And then, the leader needs to call this out and challenge the group. It may go something like this: “Hey you guys, let’s not go to Abilene here. I need to hear some honest points of view before we tie off this discussion.”
Going to Abilene can be the code words a leader uses to get its members to ‘snap out’ of the ritual they are engaging in – which is to please one another and to keep the group identity behind a singular point of view. Give it a try. (www.pauldineenterprises.com)
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